Alone

I can’t blame anyone else but myself for trying to search for you in every person I was with. But I blame you for being the best thing that has ever been in my life and not staying. How pitiful it was to find someone who was barely enough for me. How sad it was to watch myself be with people only to fill the void of where you once were.

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Pushing through

So lately, I’ve been dealing with a lot. I just recently moved from my home for the first time. I am an hour away from my family and friends.

It’s been pretty tough trying to get through. I’ve been looking for a job while trying to get myself ready for my bachelors degree and it’s a lot of stress and work.

On top of all that my love life is a giant fucking mess.

I’ve been depressed and haven’t had much motivation to do anything. I haven’t wanted to do anything but sleep.

It has come to the point where I’m just calm about everything. It feels like my functions have shut down on me and all I am able to feel is numb.

I’ve dealt with depression before but not to this extent. This is a whole new sort of feeling.

Who knows what my future will hold.

I just want to be happy again and live my life.