Cloud 9

When I’m with you I feel as if I’m floating. I’m on the clouds and every worry I have drifts away.

Every moment with you is a moment I want to last forever. My memory can never do the moments we spend together any justice.

I don’t know the future but I know I love you and I want to spend my life making memories with you.

The feeling is so overwhelming. Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere.

No matter how hard I try, I won’t ever be able to fathom the love I feel for you.

Kissing you is so innocent yet it sends this electricity through me. Just being able to touch you and feel your warmth is a sensation I can’t ever get over.

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Alone

I can’t blame anyone else but myself for trying to search for you in every person I was with. But I blame you for being the best thing that has ever been in my life and not staying. How pitiful it was to find someone who was barely enough for me. How sad it was to watch myself be with people only to fill the void of where you once were.

Bitches Broken Hearts

We have known one another for as long as I can remember. Both of us have done some changing in the past five years. Being without you for an extended period of time has made me realize that the way I feel towards you will never change.

No matter who I’ve been with. It hasn’t changed.

As I grow and mature so do my feelings.

Life isn’t planned. I’ve recently begun to understand that.

When someone is gone for a long time you think of all the little things that you want to tell them. Everything is put down in your head. By the time we saw each other we were catching up about so many other big things that happened.

Life is more than just one person though.

I just don’t understand how I can love someone so much.

Nobody has forever. But I love you now. The now is what matters.

Any moment could be our last moment.

When I gaze into your eyes I see everything.

I’ve loved you since the beginning in art class.

Pushing through

So lately, I’ve been dealing with a lot. I just recently moved from my home for the first time. I am an hour away from my family and friends.

It’s been pretty tough trying to get through. I’ve been looking for a job while trying to get myself ready for my bachelors degree and it’s a lot of stress and work.

On top of all that my love life is a giant fucking mess.

I’ve been depressed and haven’t had much motivation to do anything. I haven’t wanted to do anything but sleep.

It has come to the point where I’m just calm about everything. It feels like my functions have shut down on me and all I am able to feel is numb.

I’ve dealt with depression before but not to this extent. This is a whole new sort of feeling.

Who knows what my future will hold.

I just want to be happy again and live my life.

Live your life

You should live your life for you and no one else. If you are truly happy then that is the only thing that should matter.

Even if everyone around you seems to disagree with you. You shouldn’t let them discourage you from going after what you want.

Stop caring about what other people have to say.

It is the best thing you can do for yourself in order to find happiness.

Push yourself past what you think your limit is. Even if it scares you.

I am the happiest I have ever been and this feeling is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

I don’t know how to describe it without rambling on and on and getting lost in my thoughts.

My heart is overwhelmed and full of love.

I don’t ever want this feeling to go away.

 

Truly, Madly, and Unconditionally

I’ve learned over the past few years that to be able to love others to your fullest capacity, you must first value yourself and know your self-worth.

Only recently have I began to fully understand the term “unconditional love”

I care more about their happiness without any thought for what I might get in return.

It is really rare to love someone unconditionally because we are programmed to be conditional.

We expect something in return.

But when it comes to loving someone unconditionally, you don’t expect anything back.

When you love someone, you extend yourself, every vulnerability you have into an uncharted territory with the thought that you want their happiness overall.

This is the kind of love that has no bounds and is unchanging. It is the choice to love this person no matter what is thrown your way.

You get satisfaction out of putting their health and happiness first with no expectation of reward for yourself.

There are multiple ways to notice when you’ve found unconditional love.

Here are some that I have noticed:

1. You can let your guard down with them

2. You demonstrate your love with both words and actions daily

3. You both value the art of communication

4. You can both be fully yourselves with one another

5. You feel at home with them

6. You inspire each other

7. They make you want to be your best self

8. You can tell one another the truth even when it’s hard

9. You put their needs first

10. Your partner encourages you to talk about your anxieties

11. You have respect each other’s values and boundaries

12. There is a satisfaction you feel when loving them, there’s no strings attached

And these are just some. I know there’s plenty more.

Life has been putting me through a lot of trials lately and something I have gained from them is the realization of how far my love truly goes.

Don’t give up

I feel like us as humans work so hard to get to a certain place or obtain a certain goal in life that we sometimes lose sight of what makes life fun.

Life is unpredictable and that’s kind of a great thing. Planning every little detail out becomes so exhausting because nothing will ever go exactly as planned and it’s really discouraging.

Having a general idea of what you want for the future just makes life so much more enjoyable.

After a while of chasing something you lose your hobbies. You become so hyper focused on a set goal you lose a part of yourself.

You need a creative outlet because it brings you happiness. Don’t lose sight of that inner child.

Having that creativity will make you feel so much better and less depressed about where life is going.

As kids, we were so much happier because all we ever did was find things we enjoyed and had fun. We were constantly creating.

As adults, we have to learn to factor that fun into our busy schedules to stay sane.

So it’s okay to not know everything that’s going to happen in your future. Just remember to live your life and enjoy it.

Find things that make you happy and keep feeding that outlet.

On purpose

This is a compilation of jumbled thoughts that only my journal has seen

Your words seem to heal the hurt. You have this butterfly effect on my heart.

Am I accidentally falling?

I didn’t plan on this helpless circumstance with you.

You might be the answer to all of my fears.

You’ve got my heart and I don’t want it back

I don’t necessarily have a fear of heights and maybe that’s why I let myself fall for you. I can’t describe to you how much I loved the fall. It’s the sort of fall that I would relive over and over again. I will wait until you let yourself fall. When that time comes, I’ll be down here waiting to catch you.

In life, you are either the poet or the poetry and you are truly the most beautiful poetry I’ve come across.

You’re like a cool autumn breeze on a crisp fall day: warm and inviting with the undeniable feeling of complete and utter happiness.

Poetry was invented to describe people just like you.

I know that you’re scared and so am I. But when I gaze into your eyes, that fear melts away.

I miss your face. Your warmth. Your touch. Your smile. Your laugh. I miss being tangled in your embrace. I miss the sound of your heartbeat. Your scent and the fact that it alone can calm down my constant racing mind. The way you look at me. I miss your hand gently brushing my hair. I miss the way your lips softly kiss my forehead.

Your eyes crashing into my eyes makes my heart nearly stop. There are hills on my skin when you smile. I just want to discover all of your colors. Every corner of your mind.

Your voice is soft, yet firm and sultry. It’s what I crave the most.

I fall for you more and more with every day that passes.

I never thought that I would need someone so much.

There’s a happiness I feel with you and I love the way it makes me feel. To be with you is the definition of relaxation and contentment. Your skin is so soft and soothing. To touch your is to be entranced. Your heartbeat is like a soft melody.

You never realize that you’ve fallen until it’s too late.

You came crashing into my life like a fucking tsunami.

We attract what we’re ready for

Lately, I’ve started to realize that we attract what we’re ready for.

Even if at the time we don’t think we are prepared for what’s being presented to us.

The thing is, random shit happens all the time.

I personally like to try and plan out how things are going to go because I like to have a general idea of what’s going to happen.

But then life just throws me a curve ball that changes everything.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

And even though they weren’t apart of the plan at first, they start to become apart of the plan.

They bulldoze into your life without you even realizing it.

You feel like you aren’t ready for any of it.

But in reality you are even if you think you aren’t.

They’re in your life because they are meant to be there.

They were placed with you for a reason.

You may not know that specific reason just yet.

But you’ll eventually figure it out.

Why they were put into your life when you weren’t ready for them.

Just because you didn’t plan for it to happen doesn’t mean that you aren’t ready for it.

No one is in our lives just by chance.